I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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