so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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