Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
