I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
