I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Non-Jews are for practice
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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