she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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