I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
