Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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