he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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