the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
It's never too late to be topless.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
