So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so let's talk penis.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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