its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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