what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
