you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
