why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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