I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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