perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
