Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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