i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
