Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
