But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
