Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
