I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
