the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
two words: eviction party
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
