I wanna bring you to show and tell
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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