I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
