I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
