Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
