I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
