yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize