I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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