You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
