I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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