Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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