yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
