remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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