He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
