so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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