am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
