the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
