Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
