I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
