Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
