Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize