i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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