playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
