is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
