I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
