Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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