Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
