Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(302): View more from Delaware

do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?

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(831): View more from California

No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick

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(813): View more from Florida

So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks

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(240): View more from Maryland

just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five

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(713): View more from Texas

He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance

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(303): View more from Colorado

But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.

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(863): View more from Florida

I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule

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(303): View more from Colorado

who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.

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(727): View more from Florida

i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?

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