I love black thongs
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
