What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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