My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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