Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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