My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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