i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just had sex on a roof
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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