Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
