it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize