I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
