Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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