She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
